Manners is making people comfortable or not making them uncomfortable. Politeness is to do and say the kindest thing in the kindest way. It's being respectful of other people.
The biggest rules of etiquette are:
1.) Never give unsolicited advice.
2.) When in doubt, keep your mouth shut.
3.) Never correct anybody for being rude or breaching some kind of rule of etiquette. Ignore it. Making someone feel awkward doesn't help anything.
The secret to popularity is good manners done unconsciously. Don't be a self-centered, self-deluded idiot thinking you're superior and fantastic because people will see right through it.
I went to the #395 section of the library and got three thick books on etiquette with the intention of going through them to see what it was all about.
After a few minutes, I quickly realized it was all about "rules" and "ought to do's" for just about everything in life from introductions to sitting down to meal time, etc., many of which I probably violated in the course of my lifetime but I don't think it really matters all that much in any situation because it's the spirit that counts.
Back in the old days of the 1950s and before, there were a bunch of silly etiquette rules that were meaningless in and of themselves but were meant for the so-called upper class people to keep others down. If you went to a high society function, you were supposed to feel inferior if you didn't know which fork to eat with and you were made to feel that way by the elitists.
That's long gone but it has been replaced by a concern with civility in society, people being considerate of other people.
The only rule nowadays is be a nice, humble, gentle person in any situation and you will be alright.
There are etiquette rules for business, parties, entertaining, new baby, anniversaries, funerals, weddings, how to eat properly, how to deal with neighbors, letter writing, official protocol, restaurants, dating, separation, divorce and remarriage, etc.
I can't do justice to all of them here so if you're really interested, simply go to the library and get one of the several thick books they have there that deals with it all or go to an etiquette website.
Some of these books have good extensive sections on things like weddings, parties and funerals.
General Etiquette Rules
Some basic rules I gleaned from the books at #395 are:
The biggest rule is keep your mouth shut when in doubt.
Instead of telling someone how fat they used to be compared to now (you lost weight), just say lookin' good. Keep at it.
Don't say: "I don't have time to talk to you right now." You're implying someone or something else is more important. Say "I'm just finishing something. I'll call you back in ten minutes."
If you want to say something mean or bad, say nothing.
Never ask a woman if she's pregnant because she could be just fat.
You are always a walking billboard for the world. The first thing people see is your face, whether you have a pleasant countenance or not. Then it's the clothes, neat and clean or dirty and grungy, clean shaven or unkempt, any vanity ticks like tattoos, earrings, etc.
When you open your mouth, people judge you first by the tone of your voice. In my opinion, you don't have to be loud and assertive, just be calm and soft spoken.
In this world of arrogant loud mouths, people like to hear a soft, soothing voice. Always enunciate meaning speak slowly and clearly.
Next, it's the words you use. You give yourself away whenever you use a double negative or something like ain't. Whenever I hear a female curse, my estimation of her as a lady goes down about 100%. She thinks she's being free and liberated but she's just being cheap.
You don't have to go the opposite extreme and use big words inappropriately to try to impress people with your knowledge of words, rather, just speak simply and clearly with a good command of the English language which you should
The biggest rules of etiquette are:
1.) Never give unsolicited advice.
2.) When in doubt, keep your mouth shut.
3.) Never correct anybody for being rude or breaching some kind of rule of etiquette. Ignore it. Making someone feel awkward doesn't help anything.
The secret to popularity is good manners done unconsciously. Don't be a self-centered, self-deluded idiot thinking you're superior and fantastic because people will see right through it.
I went to the #395 section of the library and got three thick books on etiquette with the intention of going through them to see what it was all about.
After a few minutes, I quickly realized it was all about "rules" and "ought to do's" for just about everything in life from introductions to sitting down to meal time, etc., many of which I probably violated in the course of my lifetime but I don't think it really matters all that much in any situation because it's the spirit that counts.
Back in the old days of the 1950s and before, there were a bunch of silly etiquette rules that were meaningless in and of themselves but were meant for the so-called upper class people to keep others down. If you went to a high society function, you were supposed to feel inferior if you didn't know which fork to eat with and you were made to feel that way by the elitists.
That's long gone but it has been replaced by a concern with civility in society, people being considerate of other people.
The only rule nowadays is be a nice, humble, gentle person in any situation and you will be alright.
There are etiquette rules for business, parties, entertaining, new baby, anniversaries, funerals, weddings, how to eat properly, how to deal with neighbors, letter writing, official protocol, restaurants, dating, separation, divorce and remarriage, etc.
I can't do justice to all of them here so if you're really interested, simply go to the library and get one of the several thick books they have there that deals with it all or go to an etiquette website.
Some of these books have good extensive sections on things like weddings, parties and funerals.
General Etiquette Rules
Some basic rules I gleaned from the books at #395 are:
The biggest rule is keep your mouth shut when in doubt.
Instead of telling someone how fat they used to be compared to now (you lost weight), just say lookin' good. Keep at it.
Don't say: "I don't have time to talk to you right now." You're implying someone or something else is more important. Say "I'm just finishing something. I'll call you back in ten minutes."
If you want to say something mean or bad, say nothing.
Never ask a woman if she's pregnant because she could be just fat.
You are always a walking billboard for the world. The first thing people see is your face, whether you have a pleasant countenance or not. Then it's the clothes, neat and clean or dirty and grungy, clean shaven or unkempt, any vanity ticks like tattoos, earrings, etc.
When you open your mouth, people judge you first by the tone of your voice. In my opinion, you don't have to be loud and assertive, just be calm and soft spoken.
In this world of arrogant loud mouths, people like to hear a soft, soothing voice. Always enunciate meaning speak slowly and clearly.
Next, it's the words you use. You give yourself away whenever you use a double negative or something like ain't. Whenever I hear a female curse, my estimation of her as a lady goes down about 100%. She thinks she's being free and liberated but she's just being cheap.
You don't have to go the opposite extreme and use big words inappropriately to try to impress people with your knowledge of words, rather, just speak simply and clearly with a good command of the English language which you should
