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    Waiting to Die Longing to Love

    By Russell K. Lanier

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    About

    I got out of jail in north Alabama. It’s my fifth Driving Under the Influence charge. My jail time is too short -- just two days. The fine is too low -- just $750. The judge is lenient and my lawyer is skilled. He works out a plea deal so a conviction will never appear on my driving record.

    This misadventure is merely the latest experience in a life not worth living. I am only one of 23-million people in the United States burdened with the deadly disease of addiction. That’s roughly thirteen percent of the population.

    I won’t live long if I keep using, and I’m not sure I want to live even if I stop.
    I’ve seen others kick their habits, but at age forty-nine, I am overweight and unemployed -- a hopeless case.

    I am waiting to die, but longing to live -- and love.

    The story you are about to read tells how I finally got clean and sober from both drugs and alcohol. As you read each chapter, you will discover several things that may help you understand the mind of a drug addict. It’s about healing and how I came to understand that the thing I needed to be saved from most is me.

    So, come along with me now as I hold your hand and take you with me on my road to recovery. You will see addiction’s true personality as I turn the spotlight on this monster. Hold on tight because it’s going to be one hell of a roller coaster ride!
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