If you're a fan of the inane wittering you can find at www.twochubbycubs.com and you want something a little more to fill the hole we leave behind, why not give this a go - it's our diary from our honeymoon in America from a few years ago. It's not a slimming book - hell, we put on so much weight that our ankles snapped like old spaghetti, but it's apparently "funny" so give it a go.
It's a long one - so take it easy! This is a trip report of a British honeymooning, sarcastic gay couple - never blue, but always a bit colourful.
We take in all the big sights of Florida, including the Disney parks, Universal Studios and all the marvellous odds and sods that make up the ultimate honeymoon.
The only two stars of the trip report are:
Jaymes (me) – just married Paul after four years of being together. 26, snappy dresser (well, I fill out a George tee-shirt well), comfortably upholstered, bald head, probably classed as the ‘feminine one’ despite looking like Bryan McFadden on a fat day.
Paul (him) – has somehow found himself married to me, the lucky sod. 25, built like a little barrel, has a somewhat worrying fascination with lumberjack shirts, the ‘masculine’ one, though not quite.
Together, we take the mickey out of everything, will go on any rides we can, dislike common people despite being as working-class as you can get, fully intent on spending the many thousands we have saved up for our honeymoon – 4 weeks in Orlando – week 1 at the Polynesian, week 2 at the Wyndham, week 3 at the Four Points and week 4 at the Hard Rock Hotel. Report might be slightly cheeky but nothing that’ll blow your socks off. Swearing minimal. Please keep your arms, feet and bingo wings inside the ride.
It's a long one - so take it easy! This is a trip report of a British honeymooning, sarcastic gay couple - never blue, but always a bit colourful.
We take in all the big sights of Florida, including the Disney parks, Universal Studios and all the marvellous odds and sods that make up the ultimate honeymoon.
The only two stars of the trip report are:
Jaymes (me) – just married Paul after four years of being together. 26, snappy dresser (well, I fill out a George tee-shirt well), comfortably upholstered, bald head, probably classed as the ‘feminine one’ despite looking like Bryan McFadden on a fat day.
Paul (him) – has somehow found himself married to me, the lucky sod. 25, built like a little barrel, has a somewhat worrying fascination with lumberjack shirts, the ‘masculine’ one, though not quite.
Together, we take the mickey out of everything, will go on any rides we can, dislike common people despite being as working-class as you can get, fully intent on spending the many thousands we have saved up for our honeymoon – 4 weeks in Orlando – week 1 at the Polynesian, week 2 at the Wyndham, week 3 at the Four Points and week 4 at the Hard Rock Hotel. Report might be slightly cheeky but nothing that’ll blow your socks off. Swearing minimal. Please keep your arms, feet and bingo wings inside the ride.
