The Top 10 Beauty Myths That Will Make a Real Woman Look Like an Aging Drag Queen

Tired of having perky, lying "makeup artists" who are young enough to be your kid tell you what to do with your face? Sick of saccharine woman's magazine "beauty tips" articles that advocate putting a cucumber on your eye on one page and a casserole in the oven on the next? Are you a women of a "certain age" with homicidal impulses toward the skinny latte girls in the office, yet you still want to look good? Then this article is for you!

My article debunks all the popular beauty myths, tells you what to do instead, and is almost as cheap as a kick in the skinny pants.

Not just a humor piece; this contains real beauty tips. (-;