When I was a teenager, I had this idea that by the time I was thirty years old I would have it all together.
The house, for sure. A beautiful and big 'grown-up' one.
A perfect marriage with three or so perfect children.
And the business. I was going to be a wildly successful entrepreneur. I just knew it!
I never really questioned that all of this would happen for me, it just seemed right that it should. At school my fantasies were supported by teachers constantly telling me I was gifted, that I could do anything, and that I was going to be a big success.
I grew up aware that I was a high achiever, that I was a natural leader, a natural entrepreneur.
The only thing I never realised, or was never told, or perhaps simply never listened to, was the fact that in order to create this dream life of mine
I was actually going to have to chase it.
That doing so would mean letting go of things I thought I needed to be happy. It would mean stepping outside my comfort zone, often. Letting
go of the ‘shoulds’ and ‘musts’ of a busy life. Refusing to allow myself to be swept along, refusing to let my dreams just fade away and eventually become far-off fantasies.
I didn't realise all of this, or if I did I pretended that there was still time. That it was 'just going to happen' for me one day. That because my dream life was what was meant to happen, it would just - happen.
It didn't.
And one day, I woke up and I was thirty years old.
I didn't have the dream house.
I wasn't married. In fact, I was divorced already.
And although I was a business owner and working for myself, what I really had was a job I'd given myself - not the financial and time freedom I thought I would have.
So many of my dreams had been swept up by my busy life. Put on hold. Forgotten altogether. Or, perhaps most sad of all, they'd never really been allowed to be dreamed in the first place.
Here's the truth about stepping up and getting happy, stepping up and creating your dream life.
Most people will die and will never have created the life they were born to live.
Look around you.
Perhaps you're in a busy cafe, surrounded with people laughing, chatting, reading, drinking coffee, writing. Generally looking like they're living by choice; having a good time.
Are they really? Who knows, right? Perhaps they think they are. Perhaps they really are, much of the time. Perhaps they are absolutely clear on what they really want in life, they have their top three goals for the next six months firmly in the back of their mind, and each day they're doing something to move closer to at least one of those goals.
I'd like to think that were true, but more likely they too are simply trying to keep up. Trying to keep up with the life they created for themselves.
With the need to pay the mortgage, send the kids to a good school, attend the right social functions, have the right sort of home or holidays or wardrobe.
The need to be everything that the world expects them to be and everything that they think they need to be happy. To be and do and have everything but what THEY truly would love to be and do and have in order to be happy, on purpose, passion-filled and free.
And the really sad thing here?
For the most part, if you asked them, these people wouldn't even know what they want.
It's not that they don't have a dream.
It's that they haven't made space for their dreams; space to even imagine their dreams let alone to start to live them.
Because they're too scared, too unsure, because they don't know where to start.
Really what it comes down to is this -
They're stuck on the wheel, and not only do they not know how to get off -
They don't realise that they can get off.
So how about you?
You Have A Choice
The house, for sure. A beautiful and big 'grown-up' one.
A perfect marriage with three or so perfect children.
And the business. I was going to be a wildly successful entrepreneur. I just knew it!
I never really questioned that all of this would happen for me, it just seemed right that it should. At school my fantasies were supported by teachers constantly telling me I was gifted, that I could do anything, and that I was going to be a big success.
I grew up aware that I was a high achiever, that I was a natural leader, a natural entrepreneur.
The only thing I never realised, or was never told, or perhaps simply never listened to, was the fact that in order to create this dream life of mine
I was actually going to have to chase it.
That doing so would mean letting go of things I thought I needed to be happy. It would mean stepping outside my comfort zone, often. Letting
go of the ‘shoulds’ and ‘musts’ of a busy life. Refusing to allow myself to be swept along, refusing to let my dreams just fade away and eventually become far-off fantasies.
I didn't realise all of this, or if I did I pretended that there was still time. That it was 'just going to happen' for me one day. That because my dream life was what was meant to happen, it would just - happen.
It didn't.
And one day, I woke up and I was thirty years old.
I didn't have the dream house.
I wasn't married. In fact, I was divorced already.
And although I was a business owner and working for myself, what I really had was a job I'd given myself - not the financial and time freedom I thought I would have.
So many of my dreams had been swept up by my busy life. Put on hold. Forgotten altogether. Or, perhaps most sad of all, they'd never really been allowed to be dreamed in the first place.
Here's the truth about stepping up and getting happy, stepping up and creating your dream life.
Most people will die and will never have created the life they were born to live.
Look around you.
Perhaps you're in a busy cafe, surrounded with people laughing, chatting, reading, drinking coffee, writing. Generally looking like they're living by choice; having a good time.
Are they really? Who knows, right? Perhaps they think they are. Perhaps they really are, much of the time. Perhaps they are absolutely clear on what they really want in life, they have their top three goals for the next six months firmly in the back of their mind, and each day they're doing something to move closer to at least one of those goals.
I'd like to think that were true, but more likely they too are simply trying to keep up. Trying to keep up with the life they created for themselves.
With the need to pay the mortgage, send the kids to a good school, attend the right social functions, have the right sort of home or holidays or wardrobe.
The need to be everything that the world expects them to be and everything that they think they need to be happy. To be and do and have everything but what THEY truly would love to be and do and have in order to be happy, on purpose, passion-filled and free.
And the really sad thing here?
For the most part, if you asked them, these people wouldn't even know what they want.
It's not that they don't have a dream.
It's that they haven't made space for their dreams; space to even imagine their dreams let alone to start to live them.
Because they're too scared, too unsure, because they don't know where to start.
Really what it comes down to is this -
They're stuck on the wheel, and not only do they not know how to get off -
They don't realise that they can get off.
So how about you?
You Have A Choice
