It’s important to recognize everyone grieves differently, because it helps us to know there is nothing wrong with us. Grief is an important process which shouldn’t be discounted. Some people deny their grief because they want to appear strong. Some people drown in their grief because they don’t know what to do with feelings which overwhelm them. Some people cry, others don’t. Some people hold onto ‘personal objects’, others are able to give them away. Some people ‘KNOW’ their loved ones are with them in spirit, others anguish over fading memories.
But there are some things all of us mourning a loss have in common. We have difficulty allowing happiness to come into the same room as our sadness. And if we do find a moment of happiness we lose it to the guilt we feel about being happy. We avoid people, not wanting to get caught up in the awkward silence of someone who doesn’t know what to say. We will have moments where habit has us picking up the phone to tell someone about our day. Then reality will slap the phone from our hand as we realize there will be no one on the other end anymore.
But there are some things all of us mourning a loss have in common. We have difficulty allowing happiness to come into the same room as our sadness. And if we do find a moment of happiness we lose it to the guilt we feel about being happy. We avoid people, not wanting to get caught up in the awkward silence of someone who doesn’t know what to say. We will have moments where habit has us picking up the phone to tell someone about our day. Then reality will slap the phone from our hand as we realize there will be no one on the other end anymore.
