Online Dating: The 10th Circle of Hell
So you know how sometimes, you’re standing there and all of a sudden life presents you with two choices – and then you proceed to make the worst possible choice of the two? Yeah. That was how my two-year stint in online dating started.
Let me tell you, it has been quite a ride. Exactly one hundred and forty-seven dates later (oh dear God that makes me sound pathetic), and I’m right back to square one. It’s been a lovely mix of normal-to-boring and bat-shit-crazy, but mostly the latter if I’m being honest.
I guess somewhere around the tenth bizarre date, I decided to start chronicling these tales if for no other reason than to laugh hysterically at myself later on in life. If you don’t write this stuff down, it has a tendency to fall into the vortex of space in your brain where all the lost song lyrics go – and I couldn’t suffer through these dates only to have that happen, now could I?
So here you have it – a collection of my experiences with the Internet’s finest. From men who shared too much too soon to those who were just out-of-this-world strange, I’m pretty sure I’ve dated one of every type of guy out there. I’m starting to question whether I have standards that are too high or too low because these dates have not amounted to anything more than funny anecdotes to tell at parties.
And before you get too jealous, ladies, I can pretty much assure you that every single one of these men is still, well, single. Try not to kill each other on the way to snatching these fellows up – there’s plenty to go around!
So you know how sometimes, you’re standing there and all of a sudden life presents you with two choices – and then you proceed to make the worst possible choice of the two? Yeah. That was how my two-year stint in online dating started.
Let me tell you, it has been quite a ride. Exactly one hundred and forty-seven dates later (oh dear God that makes me sound pathetic), and I’m right back to square one. It’s been a lovely mix of normal-to-boring and bat-shit-crazy, but mostly the latter if I’m being honest.
I guess somewhere around the tenth bizarre date, I decided to start chronicling these tales if for no other reason than to laugh hysterically at myself later on in life. If you don’t write this stuff down, it has a tendency to fall into the vortex of space in your brain where all the lost song lyrics go – and I couldn’t suffer through these dates only to have that happen, now could I?
So here you have it – a collection of my experiences with the Internet’s finest. From men who shared too much too soon to those who were just out-of-this-world strange, I’m pretty sure I’ve dated one of every type of guy out there. I’m starting to question whether I have standards that are too high or too low because these dates have not amounted to anything more than funny anecdotes to tell at parties.
And before you get too jealous, ladies, I can pretty much assure you that every single one of these men is still, well, single. Try not to kill each other on the way to snatching these fellows up – there’s plenty to go around!
