This book is about the pain-body and how it manifests itself in relationships. It is a topic affecting practically everyone.
If you are among the vast majority who face your biggest emotional challenges in relationships and experience negative emotions; anger, frustration, sadness, jealousy, anxiety, guilt, regret and worry, then this book may be of help.
Readers of Eckhart Tolle’s works will be familiar with the notion of the pain-body. For those who have not read "The Power of Now" or "A New Earth", there is an introductory chapter, giving an explanation of the origins of the pain-body. Among questions answered in this book are:
•How can I detect if I have a pain-body?
•When am I at risk of being taken over by my pain-body?
•Why do pain-bodies awaken in intimate relationships?
•Do I get attracted to the people who will cause me pain, while I think it is love and pure feelings?
•I don’t understand why I always seem to attract the same type of jerks?
•How can I observe my sadness, anger or jealousy?
•He says he is not ready for commitment yet. What can I do to dissolve his pain, so my life can move on?
•I don’t have a pain-body. But my wife does. Sometimes, at the slightest problem she will explode. What should I do?
•I have tried to remain silent when she has her outburst. She only gets angrier. Please help.
•What can I do to shield my kids from developing strong pain bodies of their own?
•My boyfriend is violent. I know it is his pain-body, but I am too scared to do anything. What can I do?
•Does becoming centered mean that I will lose some of my friends?
•Although I am 38, my mom still treats me as if I were a child. I love her, but find her attitude annoying. What can I do?
•My boyfriend is weak and lacks self-confident. I need a man who can give me confidence and security. How can I help him become more mature?
•My boyfriend is jealous. He does not like it when I visit my friends. This is a source of conflict. What should I do?
•I have bad memories from my native town. The thought of meeting my friends and relatives from old days causes anxiety in me. What should I do?
•How can I dissolve my own pain-body, without having a therapist around?
•How can I reconcile the notion of pain-body with my Christian belief and my faith in Christ relieving us from sin and pain?
Excerpt
Q: I don’t have a pain-body myself. But my wife has a strong one. Sometimes, at the slightest problem she will explode. And she will blame it on me. What should I do? Why have I attracted this person to my life?
A: In intimate relationships, there is almost always some kind of "compatibility" in the parties’ pain-bodies. If your wife has a strong pain-body, be sure that probably you also have something that needs to be discovered inside. Otherwise, you would not have attracted her in the first place. Sometimes, men are better at controlling their emotions and seem calm and composed. This does not mean there is not a pain-body there. It just means you are better at covering it up, so you can place the blame on your wife.
Once you have completely dissolved your own pain-body, her outburst will no longer bother you so much. So instead of defining her as the problem, ask yourself "which quality should I have possessed so that her reactions would not bother me any longer". It may be you need to develop more empathy. Maybe you don’t really see her, but merely observe her from a distance. Beware you don’ t define yourself as the calm, composed one and her as the hysterical, irrational one. It is satisfying to the ego to do that. But it will not help you grow in presence, which is ultimately your life purpose.
If you are among the vast majority who face your biggest emotional challenges in relationships and experience negative emotions; anger, frustration, sadness, jealousy, anxiety, guilt, regret and worry, then this book may be of help.
Readers of Eckhart Tolle’s works will be familiar with the notion of the pain-body. For those who have not read "The Power of Now" or "A New Earth", there is an introductory chapter, giving an explanation of the origins of the pain-body. Among questions answered in this book are:
•How can I detect if I have a pain-body?
•When am I at risk of being taken over by my pain-body?
•Why do pain-bodies awaken in intimate relationships?
•Do I get attracted to the people who will cause me pain, while I think it is love and pure feelings?
•I don’t understand why I always seem to attract the same type of jerks?
•How can I observe my sadness, anger or jealousy?
•He says he is not ready for commitment yet. What can I do to dissolve his pain, so my life can move on?
•I don’t have a pain-body. But my wife does. Sometimes, at the slightest problem she will explode. What should I do?
•I have tried to remain silent when she has her outburst. She only gets angrier. Please help.
•What can I do to shield my kids from developing strong pain bodies of their own?
•My boyfriend is violent. I know it is his pain-body, but I am too scared to do anything. What can I do?
•Does becoming centered mean that I will lose some of my friends?
•Although I am 38, my mom still treats me as if I were a child. I love her, but find her attitude annoying. What can I do?
•My boyfriend is weak and lacks self-confident. I need a man who can give me confidence and security. How can I help him become more mature?
•My boyfriend is jealous. He does not like it when I visit my friends. This is a source of conflict. What should I do?
•I have bad memories from my native town. The thought of meeting my friends and relatives from old days causes anxiety in me. What should I do?
•How can I dissolve my own pain-body, without having a therapist around?
•How can I reconcile the notion of pain-body with my Christian belief and my faith in Christ relieving us from sin and pain?
Excerpt
Q: I don’t have a pain-body myself. But my wife has a strong one. Sometimes, at the slightest problem she will explode. And she will blame it on me. What should I do? Why have I attracted this person to my life?
A: In intimate relationships, there is almost always some kind of "compatibility" in the parties’ pain-bodies. If your wife has a strong pain-body, be sure that probably you also have something that needs to be discovered inside. Otherwise, you would not have attracted her in the first place. Sometimes, men are better at controlling their emotions and seem calm and composed. This does not mean there is not a pain-body there. It just means you are better at covering it up, so you can place the blame on your wife.
Once you have completely dissolved your own pain-body, her outburst will no longer bother you so much. So instead of defining her as the problem, ask yourself "which quality should I have possessed so that her reactions would not bother me any longer". It may be you need to develop more empathy. Maybe you don’t really see her, but merely observe her from a distance. Beware you don’ t define yourself as the calm, composed one and her as the hysterical, irrational one. It is satisfying to the ego to do that. But it will not help you grow in presence, which is ultimately your life purpose.
