Dave's teddy bear is almost eight years old and wants to get baptized into the Mormon faith. The bishop says stuffed animals aren't people. Bear's grandstanding antics demonstrate otherwise. Who will win the most argumentative baptismal interview the poor bishop has ever conducted?
Though funnier to people familiar with the LDS faith, this humorous short story should appeal to anyone who ever believed that stuffed animals might have souls.
EXCERPT:
“WHAT?” shrieked Bear. “What do you mean I’m not a person? I eat, I breathe – except that one time when my mom had to do CPR on me – I walk, I talk, I know sign language! -- I act obnoxious and cranky when I’m tired. I get in fights with Dave and then we make up. I love little Spencer and George and help to entertain them…I have a birthday, for Heaven’s sake! How do I not qualify?”
“You’re not a real person,” the Bishop clarified.
Bear was annoyed. “I think you lack faith,” he scolded. “I have lived, loved, lost, and been betrayed. I have almost died, had huge fights, gotten lost, and been rescued.” Bear paused melodramatically. “If you prick me, do I not bleed?” he demanded. Then, realizing he couldn’t actually bleed, he quickly changed tactics....
Though funnier to people familiar with the LDS faith, this humorous short story should appeal to anyone who ever believed that stuffed animals might have souls.
EXCERPT:
“WHAT?” shrieked Bear. “What do you mean I’m not a person? I eat, I breathe – except that one time when my mom had to do CPR on me – I walk, I talk, I know sign language! -- I act obnoxious and cranky when I’m tired. I get in fights with Dave and then we make up. I love little Spencer and George and help to entertain them…I have a birthday, for Heaven’s sake! How do I not qualify?”
“You’re not a real person,” the Bishop clarified.
Bear was annoyed. “I think you lack faith,” he scolded. “I have lived, loved, lost, and been betrayed. I have almost died, had huge fights, gotten lost, and been rescued.” Bear paused melodramatically. “If you prick me, do I not bleed?” he demanded. Then, realizing he couldn’t actually bleed, he quickly changed tactics....
