Angry Jogger is the coming-of-age story of Matt Waterworth a 30-year-old Northern Irish man who lost himself to the modern trappings of the bar, the TV and the pizza. Heavily overweight and depressed for most of his adult life, in 2010 he set out on a voyage of self discovery and ended up running 9 marathons, 16 half marathons and a 100k in the process. Angry Jogger charts his progress from a fat recluse to an ultra marathon runner taking him across Europe and to Las Vegas in search of fun, medals and thrills. Angry Jogger is a left field two fingered salute to the profiteering dieting and self help industry.
Angry Jogger is not just any boring running book. It's full of the love and the hate for the sport that most runners feel but never admit to.
On the boredom of running marathons.
"Sometimes in a marathon you have to create your own entertainment. Running for long periods of time can be really f**ing boring, especially in city marathons. People talk about the runner’s high as if it’s the God mode state of consciousness but it's usually just the exit cry of your mind as catatonia sets in. You can achieve the same effect by completing a difficult crossword puzzle or masturbating for 17 hours nonstop. It’s all about how much time and willpower you have."
On suffering chronic gut pain after his 50k race.
"That was true until the remnants of the gels and the new addition of the kebab worked their way through my system, causing crushing pain in my stomach. I sprinted downstairs to the bathroom and pulled my jeans down before I’d even fully closed the door. What followed hurt. It hurt everyone in the building. I let out a fart so loud that most of my colleagues upstairs heard it. It did not help that the bathroom was tiny. I hadn’t heard such crude reverberation since Clan Of Xymox's seminal 1986 release 'Medusa'."
On losing and finding hope during his 100k race after lying down in a field for half an hour at the 78k rest stop.
"...It was the start of ‘Champagne Supernova’ by Oasis. It stirred up the last of the hope within me and I got up off my back and ran towards the music. When the guys saw me arise from the dirt like a creature from the deep they looked deeply worried.
Them : “What were you doing there mate?”
Me : “Having a think. Is it OK if I run with you to the 80k point?”
Them : “…Sure”
I could hear the doubt in his voice and the thoughts fuelling his reticence.
"An Irish c*** covered in s**t talking a million-words-a-minute? He looks like someone we want to be running with in rural Sussex at 1am in the f****** morning, hah! Having a think? He was probably lying there to lure badgers into his knickers with a jar of Sun-Pat Crunchy."
Angry Jogger is not just any boring running book. It's full of the love and the hate for the sport that most runners feel but never admit to.
On the boredom of running marathons.
"Sometimes in a marathon you have to create your own entertainment. Running for long periods of time can be really f**ing boring, especially in city marathons. People talk about the runner’s high as if it’s the God mode state of consciousness but it's usually just the exit cry of your mind as catatonia sets in. You can achieve the same effect by completing a difficult crossword puzzle or masturbating for 17 hours nonstop. It’s all about how much time and willpower you have."
On suffering chronic gut pain after his 50k race.
"That was true until the remnants of the gels and the new addition of the kebab worked their way through my system, causing crushing pain in my stomach. I sprinted downstairs to the bathroom and pulled my jeans down before I’d even fully closed the door. What followed hurt. It hurt everyone in the building. I let out a fart so loud that most of my colleagues upstairs heard it. It did not help that the bathroom was tiny. I hadn’t heard such crude reverberation since Clan Of Xymox's seminal 1986 release 'Medusa'."
On losing and finding hope during his 100k race after lying down in a field for half an hour at the 78k rest stop.
"...It was the start of ‘Champagne Supernova’ by Oasis. It stirred up the last of the hope within me and I got up off my back and ran towards the music. When the guys saw me arise from the dirt like a creature from the deep they looked deeply worried.
Them : “What were you doing there mate?”
Me : “Having a think. Is it OK if I run with you to the 80k point?”
Them : “…Sure”
I could hear the doubt in his voice and the thoughts fuelling his reticence.
"An Irish c*** covered in s**t talking a million-words-a-minute? He looks like someone we want to be running with in rural Sussex at 1am in the f****** morning, hah! Having a think? He was probably lying there to lure badgers into his knickers with a jar of Sun-Pat Crunchy."
