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    Combat Medic – Insane But Not Crazy: – My Mind Matters – A Psychological Reflection

    By Carl R. ToersBijns

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    Updated and amended to add a little more information – A mini EBook designed to give insight on trauma and its effects. This is a combined short story version of “Shade of Darkness” and the “Change in Winds” mini versions published to bring an awareness to what has happened inside the war veteran's head for the benefit of veterans who have difficulties expressing what or how they feel; for the families who live, deal and help veterans cope with their individual lives and also those people who want to understand the Vietnam War psychological effects a little bit better from the eyes and ears as well as his own mind related to being a combat medic in this horrific war. The consequences of this war and all the other wars fought on foreign soil will never be forgotten.
    The experience itself is a “skull fuck” not just anyone can imagine. Not because of the strange alienation of being in a different time zone, culture or political environment, but because of the trail of tears in leaves behind. Suffering is a mild word to describe what happens to a man or woman exposed to the brutalities of a war. There are no words that enable you or anyone else to capture those appalling moments of heaven and hell. A refusal to accept the normalcy of a war is not uncommon and takes courage. The ability to survive such trauma is often not without a great cost. Suicides are much too common to tell about and the tragedy at the Veterans Administration ‘waiting line’ compounds the dilemma exponentially.
    This war changed how we fought and served with honor. There are no strategies or war stories discussed here but a light focus on the tactics, the events and the impacts of such actions on a person's mind, spirit, energy or even the various stages of confusion, frustration and anger are thoroughly brought to the light based on real-life experiences and not through some scientific surveys or tests done by the VA or other government funded groups that edited and filtered the truth for many years because of how this war impacted our minds –
    In the end, my mind is important to me and my family. In such a case, all minds and hearts matter but most importantly, your mind matters - no matter what the government thinks, our lives are just as important as those other groups of special needs people who get help for their sufferings of the past due to trauma inflicted or caused by someone who vicariously ordered a man-made hell.
    The last chapter is about survivor’s guilt – an experience that is everlasting and deep and disturbingly real. Something that can impact anyone, not just in war time but in any trauma related event that alters the life of someone involved.


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