Angela tells about her wacky experiences with men, starting with embarrassing moments in high school, later hitch hiking south to Florida where she meets her first husband, then returning to her home in Kentucky. While many of her experiences are comical some are quite frightening but she keeps her quirky sense of humor through it all, like when she finds herself abandoned on an empty hospital floor:
One day, when we had the house to ourselves, Wally wanted to try some crazy sex position a friend had told him about. I got the most awful abdominal cramp, and we had to stop. The pain only grew worse however, and I finally asked Wally to take me to a hospital. When he asked me which one, I just picked the closest one as the pain was growing worse. I could see that Wally was distraught and he must have thought he had broken me. I didn’t want him to feel bad. “It might be my appendix,” I told him. I really didn’t think that sex had caused it, whatever it was but it might have stirred something up.
After check in, I was prepped for diagnostic tests. After a catheter was inserted, I was wheeled on to an elevator and onto an empty floor. The nurse said I would have to wait until a room was ready and she would come back for me. So there I lay, for what seemed an eternity, on this dark and deserted floor of the hospital. I first wondered if it was haunted, then I wondered if I might be dead and the morgue was full. When I felt my bladder was full and near bursting, I realized I must still be alive.
From Mishaps and Burglars: I woke up sometime later, while Nick was shaking my shoulders. He said something that sounded like, “There’s a mouse in the house.” I just giggled. I wasn’t fully awake when Nick picked me up and carried me out the back door and across the road to the neighbor’s house and set me down behind their car. Then he explained that a man had broken in and was going through our stuff with a knife in his hand. I started to sober then, as Nick started knocking on our neighbors’ door. He used their phone to call the police, then asked for a blanket for me, as I had no clothes on. When the police arrived, our burglar was banging on our front door trying to get out. He must have forgotten that he had entered through the back door and our front door was locked from the outside, with a padlock. They found drugs in his pockets and he was all cut up from trying to fight his way out.
On the lighter side: Joe took me to a popular bar and grill/ night club that I had wanted to check out. I dressed up for the occasion and wore some fancy new garter hose. I wasn’t used to wearing them and found that using the restroom in them could be a bit tricky. I managed the feat however and strode proudly from the restroom but as I headed for our table, I heard laughter. I noticed people looking at me and thought I must have toilet paper stuck to my shoe, but looking down, I saw that my shoes were fine.
When I reached the table my red faced boyfriend asked me if I felt a draft. When I looked behind me, I saw I had tucked part of my skirt into my panties and the end of the toilet roll as well. The toilet paper had broken off when the bathroom door closed but I still had some trailing behind me like a long tail. I could have died, as you might have imagined but Joe was a pretty good sport. We still left a bit early all the same.
One day, when we had the house to ourselves, Wally wanted to try some crazy sex position a friend had told him about. I got the most awful abdominal cramp, and we had to stop. The pain only grew worse however, and I finally asked Wally to take me to a hospital. When he asked me which one, I just picked the closest one as the pain was growing worse. I could see that Wally was distraught and he must have thought he had broken me. I didn’t want him to feel bad. “It might be my appendix,” I told him. I really didn’t think that sex had caused it, whatever it was but it might have stirred something up.
After check in, I was prepped for diagnostic tests. After a catheter was inserted, I was wheeled on to an elevator and onto an empty floor. The nurse said I would have to wait until a room was ready and she would come back for me. So there I lay, for what seemed an eternity, on this dark and deserted floor of the hospital. I first wondered if it was haunted, then I wondered if I might be dead and the morgue was full. When I felt my bladder was full and near bursting, I realized I must still be alive.
From Mishaps and Burglars: I woke up sometime later, while Nick was shaking my shoulders. He said something that sounded like, “There’s a mouse in the house.” I just giggled. I wasn’t fully awake when Nick picked me up and carried me out the back door and across the road to the neighbor’s house and set me down behind their car. Then he explained that a man had broken in and was going through our stuff with a knife in his hand. I started to sober then, as Nick started knocking on our neighbors’ door. He used their phone to call the police, then asked for a blanket for me, as I had no clothes on. When the police arrived, our burglar was banging on our front door trying to get out. He must have forgotten that he had entered through the back door and our front door was locked from the outside, with a padlock. They found drugs in his pockets and he was all cut up from trying to fight his way out.
On the lighter side: Joe took me to a popular bar and grill/ night club that I had wanted to check out. I dressed up for the occasion and wore some fancy new garter hose. I wasn’t used to wearing them and found that using the restroom in them could be a bit tricky. I managed the feat however and strode proudly from the restroom but as I headed for our table, I heard laughter. I noticed people looking at me and thought I must have toilet paper stuck to my shoe, but looking down, I saw that my shoes were fine.
When I reached the table my red faced boyfriend asked me if I felt a draft. When I looked behind me, I saw I had tucked part of my skirt into my panties and the end of the toilet roll as well. The toilet paper had broken off when the bathroom door closed but I still had some trailing behind me like a long tail. I could have died, as you might have imagined but Joe was a pretty good sport. We still left a bit early all the same.
