This book will address a quality that is seriously underappreciated in the self-help universe...
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We all have a narrative of ourselves that we hold dear, and when life “happens”, we might feel a little slighted. How dare reality come and get in the way, just as we were busy trying to do our own thing? Nobody anticipates cancer, a surprise pregnancy, or being laid off of work.
But if you listen to the stories people tell, it’s almost as though these random, unforeseen and unplanned for events were not distractions from life, but the main event.
This is a book about change.
No matter who you are, there’s a good chance that life has stepped into your self-made narrative and ruined everything, probably more than once.
We like to shrug and write off events like this as “accidents”. We like to focus instead on tinkering with our plans even more, or changing the narrative. Life knocks our tower of blocks down and we start right back up again, building another one.
But is there another way to cope when life gives you lemons?
This book is also about resilience to change.
Other self-help books out there may have mountains of valuable advice on how to construct your block tower beyond your wildest imagination. Personal development is usually focused on the tower: how can you build a better one? Why are you building one in the first place? How does your tower compare to other towers and is it normal? Is it a good tower?
These are all excellent topics. But again, they don’t say anything about what to do when someone comes and knocks your tower down and you’re left with an ugly truth: your narrative of life and life itself are simply not compatible.i
This book is for you if you’ve ever felt like life has thrown you a curveball. It’s for you if you’ve ever experienced an incredible loss and thought, “Oh god what now?” or felt like your best laid plans came to a screeching halt.
In this book, we’ll be looking at a quality that is seriously underappreciated in the self-help universe: resilience. Here, we won’t bother with any specific narrative, but rather take an honest look at what happens when a hurricane blows through your life and strips you of that narrative.
We’ll look at how resilient people differ from people who are “fragile” and how changing your thoughts (i.e. your narrative) can change how you respond and adapt to change. We’ll take a slightly different approach in these pages: there are no accidents, no unforeseen circumstances – only life itself. Change is not something to fear or work against, but something to embrace and move with. In other words, getting lemons is the default.
A few years ago, life dealt me an incredible blow. Something I had taken for granted for years was snatched from me, and almost overnight, everything I held dear was called into question. I felt small, fragile and helpless. I blamed myself, everyone around me and life itself. And like so many other people who get back up after life pounds them down, I was one day able to look back fondly at that time. Today, I am grateful for how awful that time of life was.
Whatever trauma, hiccup, mistake or accident you’ve experienced in your life, my hope is that this book can show you how to roll with it, with resilience, humor, patience and compassion. Change can be a blessing, or a curse. But it will happen. Over and over again.
Whatever your path in life, this book is about devising a plan that will get you there, realistically.
